In reading this article about the fact that Carson Daly is somewhat of a douche who exists for no real reason whatsoever (and apparently has never been to a bear convention), I stumbled upon this COMPLETE GEM of a paragraph, reprinted here for your pure pleasure:
“So, first, who the fuck is Carson Daly? Don’t worry, I looked into it. Noted protocol droid Carson Daly was assembled in 1973 in Santa Monica, California. His mom was a bowl of cottage cheese and his dad was an empty paper towel roll. Growing up, Daly immersed himself in such hobbies as “envelopes” and “sitting still,” eventually becoming so peerlessly innocuous that he earned his famous nickname, “Canada: The Man.” He played golf at Santa Monica High School before enrolling at Loyola Marymount University, where he majored in turkey sandwiches. And a star was born.”
I died at “Canada: The Man.” It’s just good to remind myself how amazingly witty some brains are out there.